Delhi to Agra - One day Winter trip:

Taj Mahal & Winter Crowd! 

A trip to Agra had been on our family bucket list for a long time, and we finally made it happen, thanks to the enthusiasm of our daughter. As soon as her exams were over, she insisted that we make the trip, and we couldn't resist the opportunity to explore this iconic destination together. 

This is not just a story about a monument. It’s about expectations, winter crowds, small irritations, shared laughter, and the kind of memories only family travel can create — all on a modest budget. 

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We embarked on a one-day trip to the Taj Mahal, leaving Delhi at around 8:00 am in the morning to make our way to Agra at our own pace. The journey took us about three hours via the Yamuna Expressway, and we took a 15 minute break along the highway to stretch our legs and enjoy the view.

The expressway was well-developed, which reminded me of my last visit to Uttar Pradesh as a teenager. Back then, the journey had been quite exhausting due to the bumpy ride on a public bus. This time, however, the smooth drive was a welcome change. We passed green fields on either side of the road, and the highway was almost empty, which made the journey even more pleasant. The driver seemed to enjoy the smooth ride as well, as we cruised through several fast tag toll gates. It was a reminder that while the government provides excellent roads, you do need to pay for them!

The weather was perfect—a bright, sunny day that offered a welcome escape from the cold weather in Delhi. We finally reached Agra by 11:45 AM. The driver parked the car in a parking zone near the eastern gate, and we were all set to explore the majestic Taj Mahal.

Traffic circle in Agra

Our trip began with the simple act of hiring an auto-rickshaw to take us to the Eastern Gate. The fare was around Rs. 50/-, a not so modest fee for a short ride, but what lay ahead was far from ordinary. We had booked our tickets online and weren't expecting long queues. As we neared the gate, we were met by a sight we hadn’t anticipated: a long line of people stretching as far as the eye could see. It seemed as though every citizen of the country had chosen this very moment to visit the Taj Mahal. According to a guard, the huge crowds were due to the winter vacations, when many people flock to tourist destinations.

The line was long, and our patience was tested. At the entry, we encountered the strict security checks by the CRPF. There were separate queues for men and women, with an additional line for ladies carrying bags. It felt a little like being at a high-security airport rather than a historical site.

But then came the most surprising part: the CRPF lady officer asked me to open my purse. What followed was a peculiar exchange when she found my half-eaten chocolate bar and asked me to leave it there. I tried to explain that I had low blood pressure and needed a quick snack at regular intervals, but her response was cold and rude. In the end, I reluctantly surrendered the chocolate—preferring to give up a small treat than ruin the rest of the visit.

Eastern Gate

After passing through security, we headed slowly toward the mausoleum itself. The anticipation of seeing the Taj Mahal up close was high, but the long walk to the entrance had already begun to take its toll. Dodging the crowds and the maze of individuals posing for photoshoots we decided to take a moment to admire the peaceful Yamuna River, visible from the rear side of the monument. The river's calm, soothing presence was a welcome contrast to the chaos around us.

Tourists along the Riverside

We traced our way back towards the mausoleum, where we received our shoe covers before joining the long line leading inside.

Crowded Taj precincts

By this point, we felt as though we were part of a stampede. The crowd was pushing and shoving to reach the small door that led into the mausoleum, and it seemed like everyone was determined to get there first. The rush was intense, and we genuinely feared there might be an accidental stampede as people tried to squeeze through the narrow opening. 

As we stood inside gazing at the intricate marble carvings and moving slowly with the crowd, a local guard nearly jumped on us, hurling foul language and urging us to move quickly as though we had disturbed the eternal rest of Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal. 

Exiting the Mausoleum towards the riverside

Exiting the mausoleum was a relief, almost like escaping from a claustrophobic nightmare—relieved from the crush of the crowd and the terrifying guard. We took a few family photos and tried to soak in the atmosphere, but the exhaustion was real. It was past lunchtime, and we were feeling both drained and hungry. However, as we had discovered earlier, there were no food stalls or places to grab a bite within the Taj Mahal premises.

The gates in red limestone & marble inlays

We found a wooden bench to collapse onto, simply taking in the view of the majestic building in front of us quenching our thirsty throats with some water. The chaos of the crowd continued all around us. Groups of School children were running by, tourists from all over the country, and a few foreign tourists were all gathered, some hanging on every word of the local tour guides, who passionately narrated the history of the Taj Mahal. Some facts, some seemed a little stretched, but it was clear that these guides were working hard for their daily income, weaving stories that didn't harm anyone.

The view from our wooden bench 

Despite the overwhelming number of people, the Taj Mahal stood tall, majestic, and almost ethereal in the sunlight. The white marble glistened as if it were made of pure light. 

I couldn’t help but notice that the surrounding gardens were somewhat underwhelming. The greenery was present but not as vibrant or well-maintained as one might hope. There were hardly any flowering trees, sparse topiary, and barely any fountains to add to the charm.

The not so impressive green precincts 

Walking past the greens

We summoned all our energy to head back to our parking spot. It was almost 4:00 pm in the evening and we were famished. We had hot parathas and tea on the way before heading back home. No shopping, no more site seeing. After a good 3 hour journey we were back home. 

We arrived home around at 8:00 PM, having spent a long but memorable day exploring one of the world’s most iconic landmarks. The trip had its challenges—crowds, security, and the absence of food stalls—but it was still an experience worth having. If you have time in hand, Agra has many good restaurants in the city. And we leave that to be explored some other time... 

Trip cost including driver's fare + fuel cost + tolls + online entry fee + lunch. Cost us around INR 2000/- per person. 

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If you’re visiting the Taj Mahal during peak season:

• Start early (earlier than 8 AM, ideally).

• Eat before entering.

• Carry minimal belongings.

• Expect crowds.

• Lower expectations about solitude.

• Raise expectations about architectural brilliance.

Because no matter how crowded it gets, the Taj Mahal still does what it has done for centuries — it leaves you awestruck.

And sometimes, that’s enough! 

The Taj Mahal in all it's glory

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If you’ve visited recently, I’d love to know — did you experience the same winter rush, or did you manage to find a quieter moment with this marble wonder?

Dubai Water Canal: A Walk to Remember

It was around Christmas time and pleasant weather in December, when we visited this new development in Dubai - the Dubai Water Canal project.

This Dh 2.7 billion project was started in Oct 2013 and finally, it opened in November 2016. It has indeed transformed the way Dubai looks, not because it has added impressive buildings or skyscrapers but because it has added a waterway that acts a catalyst to enrich our urban experience. I think every city should have a balance between nature and the built fabric, and when we add elements such as parks and gardens, walkways and waterways, they naturally weave in the much-required breathing space to the urbanscape.

View of the Dubai Water Canal from a pedestrian bridge

When we visited the canal, we couldn't find any parking place, not because the parking lot was full but because the parking facility had not been fully developed yet. We parked our car nearby on a dusty space designated as a parking spot and we found others had parked there as well. In fact, there are many such parking spots all along the canal.

The Parking Spot across the Dubai Water Canal

We walked our way to the canal. The 7.0 m wide walkway (as mentioned in the papers) along the water canal was neatly developed with benches and trees at regular intervals. So while we walked along slowly, my daughter would run along to find the next bench and relax there. It was a weekend and we found the walkway full with people from all over Dubai, yet not crowded enough to spoil or disturb our leisure walk, thanks to the generous width of the walkway. We also heard music as we walked by the canal; speaker boxes were fitted all along the walkway amongst the benches and trees.

The 3.2 km long canal serves as an extension of the Dubai Creek terminating in the Arabian Gulf. The development project is still underway and plans to include 80,000 square m of public facilities and other leisure amenities...best things comes in small packages!

We were impressed with the three uniquely designed pedestrian bridges that ran across the water body. The RTA of Dubai has used smart lighting system all across the canal, the bridges, and the bridge fountain. The lights are controlled by smart apps…which does not come as a surprise for us since the infrastructure of Dubai is well developed and the Rulers of UAE leave no stone unturned when it comes to using the latest technology. Also, all the bridges are fitted with electric elevators and escalators on both sides. So, if you get exhausted as you walk along the bridge, you can take the elevator on your way down to the other side of the waterway.

The Bridges across the Water Canal

View of the Burj Khalifa far away,  as we take a walk

As we walked along the waterway watching the lovely views of the city; we were pleased with the sight of the Burj Khalifa beyond and we were drawn towards the end where we could see pink lights - like lights at the end of a tunnel!

It turned out to be a water fountain which beautifully slid across like a curtain when an RTA Ferry would approach, to let it pass and then again you would see the water curtain all across the promenade.

The Water Fountain 

The Water Curtain sliding away to make way for a water boat

We were impressed with the technology and the stunning city views from the waterfront. Best time to visit this place according to me is around sunset time when you get to see both the views; with and without the lights. If you have some couple of hours in hand, then the best thing to do around here is to take a water taxi and enjoy the stunning views as it moves along the water canal complemented by the pleasant weather during the winter time.

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Gorgeous Atriums of the Wafi Mall, Dubai

I was going through some of the photos archived in my laptop when I came across a few of these snapshots. They were taken in sometime around March 2014 and I couldn't stop myself from posting them here. People residing in Dubai are very much familiar with this mall which opened in 2001 and has been a centre of attraction for tourists also. 

We visited the Wafi Mall, during a quiet afternoon and found it almost deserted. With so many new developments in Dubai, this Mall has become a space rarely visited by the localites. However, we were lucky enough to have a look at the entire premise and remember strolling around the Mall premises unhindered by the crowd.

Although the Wafi Mall reflects the architectural influences of both the Turkish and the Egyptians, the gorgeous stained glass particularly depicts the grandeur of the Egyptian Pharoahs. We were amazed to see the carvings, the paintings, beautiful sculptures and the intricate mosaics that depicted the grandeur of Egyptian Architecture. This is the Mall you must visit not for shopping but if you wish to experience the grandeur of the Egyptian Architecture.

The Egyptian Stained Glass Pyramidal Roof, Wafi Mall, Dubai

The Egyptian Stained Glass Pyramidal Roof, Wafi Mall, Dubai

Another stained glass pyramidal roof above an atrium in Wafi Mall

The Stained Glass Dome near Rose Cafe, Wafi Mall, Dubai

The Stained glass Dome above another atrium in Wafi Mall

The circular structure as viewed from the corridors

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Visit to the Dubai Aquarium and Underwater Zoo: Mesmerized by the Finned Beauties

It was sometime in late June this year and a typical summer morning in Dubai. We had guests from our homeland and we were to take them for an outing. With rising temperatures, it was better off staying indoors or taking resort in some mall. But then our guests included little kids too and for them, shopping at malls didn't sound very attractive. Of the many indoor options that Dubai has to offer, a Visit to Dubai Aquarium was one of the best choices then.

Dubai Aquarium located at the ground level of the Dubai Mall is said to be one of the largest suspended aquariums in the world. Dubai Mall itself is one of the largest shopping malls in the world and when we reached there, as usual, we were drawn towards the numerous summer shopping offers ongoing in the mall then. But the children dragged us towards our target - the Aquarium. The aquarium had numerous ways and packages for visitors to explore the aquarium, for example, the researcher experience, explorer experience, and so on. Each package had something unique to offer to the visitors. We opted for the explorer package which offered us the options to explore the Aquarium tunnel, the underwater zoo, submersible simulator and a ride in the glass bottom boat. The male members of the family opted out of it and relaxed at a cafe while we ladies went forward with the kids racing ahead of us. Sometimes it is more fun exploring with the kids!

Our trip began with the 48-metre walk-through tunnel which was 11 meters below the surface of the main tank. The viewing panel of the tunnel is made from 19 cm thick acrylic. Kids loved the view of the aquatic world from under the tunnel as sting rays, sharks, and numerous fishes hovered all around the tunnel. This was not our first time since we have had the opportunity to take many of our guests who visit us from India through this wonderful experience. However, being nature lovers, we always enjoyed exploring the marine life.

The Aquarium Tunnel - the 48-metre walk-through tunnel

Next, we proceeded to the underwater zoo. As per the information by the aquarium staff, the aquarium was a house to thousands of aquatic creatures comprising of over 140 species. What we loved about the aquarium was that each of the aquatic species was segregated in groups and there was a touch screen which provided all the information needed regarded its origin, type, species, etc in details. The kids had a lovely time, looking at the live fishes, and gathering all the information they needed about the same. We were mesmerized by the underwater world as we got a glimpse of the octopus, jelly-fishes, iguanas, crocodiles, otters, penguins, turtles, sea horses, and more...The aquarium has multiple levels which could be accessed by hanging bridges or stairs. It was fun walking on the hanging bridges. So, for all those, who need to explore and collect facts regarding the marine world, the underwater zoo is the place he/she must visit. Here, are some pics of the underwater zoo, taken with my mobile.

A Giant Octopus

Jelly Fishes

Finding Dory!

Croc Eggs on display

Remnants of prehistoric croc that lived @112 million years ago

Thereafter, we proceeded to explore the submersible simulator and this one turned out to be really disappointing. We had to be in an enclosed room and there was a screen which simulated the underwater world, but it was an animated show lasting for about 3 minutes and  I would not recommend my friends to opt for this one.

Next was our ride on the glass bottom boat. This was real fun, as we were taken on a guided tour to the aquarium tank. We were informed that the tank that housed the entire aquatic world, held about 10-million liter of water and the acrylic panel is 75cm thick and that it was bulletproof. It was feeding time for the sharks and we could see them jumping for food as the staff offered food to them. From the glass bottom boat, we could see the tunnel beneath and thousands of fishes were floating and diving beneath. Fishes were all around us and below us...and we had an amazing time with the finned beauties.

View from the glass bottom boat

Finally a few lines from my pondering pen:

Mesmerized by the Finned Beauties

We looked for hours mesmerized, 

Pressing our faces against the glass,

As magnificent sharks swam round & round,

And thousand of finned beauties swirled all around.

Lurking in the dark corner we found a crocodile 

Opening & closing its eyes as if in boredom.

Jelly-fishes floated and swayed all over,

Sting-rays lazily pressed themselves on the glass

As if watching and scrutinizing us.

My daughter pressed her nose against the glass, 

And teased the fishes as they swam all over.

Her eyes mirrored the contents of the tank,

Filled with colors from the aquatic world.

Mesmerized by the finned beauties!

The Burj Khalifa: Musing on the Skyward Push

The picture that you see below is a not so common picture of a service road in Dubai. What makes it special is that it is located just opposite to the Dubai Mall and the entire street caters to the high-end business and commerce of the city.

I ended up with this picture one day when I had been there for a job interview. I had taken the metro and had reached the destination some 30 minutes ahead of time. With so much spare time in hand, I wasn't willing to go to the office and wait for my turn quietly. Instead, I decided to just have a look around the place. It turned out to be worth it.

Service road next to Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai

So while I was sauntering around the office, trying to take some quick snaps with my mobile, there it was…between other tall buildings: an architectural marvel of our times, a building that I am never tired of admiring - the Burj Khalifa: standing tall and looking as marvelous as always. I don't know what is it that makes me like the building so much, its architecture, its height, its location, its interiors or just everything about it. 

The Burj Khalifa, Downtown Dubai

Apart from holding the world record for being the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa holds six other World records: 

-Tallest freestanding structure in the world

-Highest number of stories in the world 

-Highest occupied floor in the world 

-Highest outdoor observation deck in the world

-Elevator with the longest travel distance in the world

-Tallest service elevator in the world.

Let me not bore you with the facts...there are more such dizzying facts that could make your head reel in wonder and awe.

All this facts and more, made me wonder about the phenomena of building skyscrapers...the architectural race of building the tallest building in the world.

The desire to reach for the sky while celebrating wealth, power and respect to God, probably led to the pyramids of Egypt, the spires of the medieval age cathedrals, the tall Gopurams of our very own Indian temples, and to the skyscrapers we see today around the world. Technology and ambition of the Architects was probably another factor that aided this skyward push.

Will there be an endpoint as to how tall a building can be made? Eventually, there'll be some country which would boast of the tallest building height achieved in the world that would put an end to the race. But I don't think so...Technology and human instinct to conquer and reach new heights will probably never put an end to this race. 

So as long as the skyward push continues, the only thing we can hope for is that an efficient design is made considering both form and structure, that considers sustainability objectives so that it is less taxing on the quality of the environment.

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Poem: A Pinwheel Of Emotions

I was forced to grow,
But I am still a child.
I believe in magic,
I believe in hope.

I hold the pinwheel in the wind,
And simply watch it spin,
I see colors whirling with it,
A kaleidoscope of twirling emotions,
All blown away with the wind.
This pinwheel does hold some magic,
Believe me...
I am a child again.

WHY TAKE YOUR CHILD TO A PARK

"Play is the work of children. It's very serious stuff." Truly said by Bob Keeshan. For children can anything be better than play?

As I write this, right outside my apartment, I can hear the children playing. The voices of children playing, laughing and yelling doesn't bother me. On the contrary, the quiet neighbourhood comes alive with the very voices of this little children. It also reminds me of my childhood days. In the evening, we friends used to play for hours in our neighbourhood park; swinging, singing, screaming, and more...smeared with dust and sand, to our heart's content till the sunset reminded us of our concerned parents waiting at home and then we would race down to our respective homes. Nothing else bothered or intervened with our playtime. It was not considered dangerous or outrageous. 

Times have changed. Nowadays, if you find children playing outdoors unsupervised it will be surprising. On visiting many of my friends, I have found their children shut indoors, playing video games, watching cartoons, or in other words - stuck with an electronic screen. 

Initially, I also was a little apprehensive to send my child alone and unsupervised, to play downstairs where the neighbourhood kids played. But when she turned six, I had to take a call. She can't be sitting indoors staring at the screen for hours when she could be using her mental ability and focus elsewhere. In the beginning, I had a thousand of concerns like any other mother. What if she gets hurt, what if she mingles with the wrong people, what if she is bullied, what about safety and so on...Then I realised that this won't do. Fortunately, our apartment in Dubai overlooks the play area and so I can quietly monitor her from my window whenever I want to. For those who don't have this option, do accompany your kids, but keep a distance from them to keep a watch. Let your child know that you are there for them if needed. Yes, there is a certain age for the kids when you should do this; certainly not the toddlers or for kids below 6-year-old. For children in the age group of 6-9, you can certainly keep a watch from the distance. Initially, my daughter didn't want to go to play alone and I had to always accompany her. She took some time to make new friends and gradually in a few months she was comfortable enough to go to the play area unescorted.

Al Mushrif Park, Dubai, UAE

For the last couple of weeks, we have been visiting parks with our friends during the weekends. Not only did our children have fun but it refreshed us - adults too. We loved watching the children playing, and once in a while joined in their play. It was nice to hear the laughter and giggles of the kids filling the air. There were people spread out all along the park, some exercising, some barbecuing, some walking, some relaxing while some like us - chatting but watchful over our kids. However, I feel, once in a while, everyone must go out to the parks and gardens our cities have to offer, as it breaks the monotony of your life and brings you closer to nature. 

Also, instead of spending hours in a shopping mall with your child (now who doesn't like shopping; ask any woman and you know the answer), which I am sure not many children like doing, take them to a park or a garden where they can play and have fun. Minus the time you spend with your child during your weekend grocery shopping or social functions, taking your child out to a park or a garden certainly means spending quality time with your child.

As a mother, here are some reasons, I feel that you should take your child to play outdoors whether it is in the evening hours during the weekdays or during the weekends, for an all-round growth and development of your child.

• HEALTH REASONS.

We all know this proverb...but times have changed. It's a competitive world. Children have lots of homework or projects to complete after school. They have lots of extracurricular activities and skills to learn too. So let them finish their tasks but don't make it an excuse to keep them away from their playtime. Research indicates that outdoor activity time is beneficial for developing children's motor skills, vitamin D levels, vision and mental health. 

Ofcourse, we knew that all along the way but we have other concerns in our mind other than health reasons. We don't want them to catch germs while they play with other kids or dirty their clothes and so on....We are modern mommies and we don't have time for all this! Come on...I bet you were not mindful of these things as a kid and played with your friends on the streets, in the neighbourhood of your towns or in the parks in your residential areas. And I see no harm unless the weather permits and if your neighbourhood or society parks are safe enough.

• MAKES YOUR CHILD INDEPENDENT.

All kids love playing with other kids and when they do that they develop social skills and this is confirmed by many studies. For me, it was fun to watch my child mingle with other kids. How their games evolved from their imagination and then slowly they borrowed ideas from their daily lives; from princess and fairies to witches and demons, from 'baby & mom', to 'teacher & student'. I was happy as my child learned to share toys with other kids, wait for her turn while the other child used the swing, took leadership in deciding what games to play and more.

• LET THEM DEAL WITH THEIR PROBLEMS.

Sometimes, small problems bother the kids so much that it prompts us - parents to step in and solve their problems. But I have seen my child coming up with solutions herself and I encourage that. Now she knows that playing with sand would be followed by an extensive cleaning ritual at home so she is careful not to dirty her clothes and sometimes avoids playing with sand altogether. She decides what to play with and how to deal with associated problems. When it is time to return home, I don't have to call her from the window of my apartment  nor do I need to step out of my house to fetch her. With this, she has developed a sense of responsibility.

• LET THEM BE THEIR OWN JUDGE.

There were times when my child came in front of my window calling me down and complaining about other kids bullying her. I asked her to return home. She wouldn't do that for that would mean sacrificing her playtime. I didn't want her to play with the bullies but then she consoled me saying not to worry and that she can handle them. Imagine that kind of assurance coming from a 7-year old. And, here I was preparing my speech as to whom she should make friends with and whom not...but then no...let them decide for themselves. 

• LEARNING FROM NATURE.

Children learn more when they observe their surroundings and what best place to learn from than our natural surroundings. Instead of having them spend hours locked inside the four walls risking their eye health as they are stuck with some electronic gadgets or the other, let them go outside, and play in the green. The brightness, the colours and the natural environment actually relaxes their eyes too. Also, they learn things they would not learn if they sit at home. Let them breathe the fresh air. Let them smell the wet mud. Let them listen to the sounds of the bee. Let them look at the blue sky freely.

• IT BUILDS AND ENHANCES MEMORY.

What a better way to show the children what nature is like by taking them to parks or gardens. You will be glad when he/she recollects what she saw in the park. Isn't is better that way? Now I find my child citing names of flowers and colours I didn't know as a child at her age. Now that is what I call symbiotic learning, where I too as a parent get a chance  to build my knowledge!

• PLAY IS A NECESSITY.

Of course, taking your child to a park is less expensive than taking them to a mall and making impulse purchases prompted by your child. You don't want to say 'No' to your child each time you hear him/her saying 'Can I have that or this?' or 'Can I take this one last ride?' Toys and rides maybe good for children, they may be affordable too...you are rich and you can afford it. Your parents were not rich and you as a child missed all those rides and you don't want your child to be deprived of anything. Fine, agreed...but don't let toys and rides become a substitute for outdoor activities. As playing is not a luxury, it is truly a necessity.

Does it require a lot of planning to go to a park? I don't think so. You can surely take out one hour of your time atleast from your busy evenings daily to take your child to play. I don't see anything else as a substitute to play. Do you?

If you think otherwise, do share your views in the comments section.

references:
mamaot.com
motherhood.modernmom.com
figur8.net

Unconditional Love

With the Valentine's week over, many of you would have expressed love and affection to your loved ones. Around the world, probably millions of flowers, cards and chocolates tagged with emotional sentiments and messages were exchanged. While romance briefly hung in the air during the entire weekend, it made me wonder - does true love really exist? A gift or two from my life partner would've certainly cheered me up too, but I am used to his nonchalant way of expression. Or perhaps a survey rightly confirms the fact that people tend to spend lesser on gifts as their relationship gets older. Also, that made me wonder do all relations believe in a give and take equation. Would I have loved my husband more if he had given me a gift? Is there is anything called unconditional love or is it a myth? Read on further before you arrive at any conclusion.

When I started writing this post, it was the Valentine's week and then suddenly things took a turn. Between this and that, all this love and romance seemed so petty and insignificant to write about when I saw the pandemonium going on in our country - India. Sitting here in Dubai, I felt helpless on seeing the respected Maj Gen. GD Bakshi weeping over a discussion on the national flag in the very popular Newshour debate and I was ashamed and enraged at the same time over the crass attitude of our 'own people'. Today such a day has arrived that we discuss whether our own national flag should be hoisted or not while the soldiers on the borders for years have laid their last without even thinking twice. As the respected Major rightly said that the flag is not a tattered piece of silk but a symbol of supreme sacrifice to them - the soldiers. Do we all citizens of the India have the same love for our nation? Today I doubt it. It is sad to see the state of a nation which can do wonders with good leadership and is instead torn apart by its own nationals & anti-nationals, partisans and presstitutes and more. But then it's a waste of time writing about these partisans and the presstitutes, so let's focus on the love that our patriots have for our nation. The willingness to sacrifice their lives, the willingness to breathe their last knowing that their life was meant to be sacrificed for the safety, welfare and honour of its nation. We, the protected ones, will truly not realise their depth of love, nor shall we ever be able to make the sacrifices or undertake the challenges they face as soldiers. The love of these soldiers for their nation is of the highest order. This is what I call unconditional love. My salute to them.

We live by chance, we love by choice, we kill by profession - Officers Training Academy, Chennai

I don't need to define what unconditional love is. But even so for those of you who are ignorant or rather for the sake of clarity, the dictionary defines unconditional love as affection without any limitations or conditions. 

All the religions around the world share the same belief that God's love for his people is unconditional since God will always love us irrespective of our love for him. I can't say the same about our love for God. We say special prayers before our exams or exam results. We pray saying that "God, give me what I want, and I shall do this in return." When you make your prayers conditional there is no unconditional love. Keeping religion aside, let's talk about the love that exists on this planet.

Unconditional love does exist amongst animals and its a scientifically proven fact. Have you ever wondered why the wolves look at the moon and keep howling? It's because they miss their pack members. The elephants, who are considered to be the most emotional creatures of the animal kingdom, often die of broken hearts due to the death of their dear ones and are known to bury their loved ones under foliage. For those of you who own dogs would certainly agree that your yawn is responded by your pet dog, which indicates their bonding with you - the owner. The yawns are an indication of their adoration for their owners. These animals don't demand anything but love from us. In fact, even after you stop caring for it, it will continue to love you. Their love is pure and unconditional. 

If animals are capable of such great acts of love, why that warmth and connection goes missing amongst us -  human beings. I believe it is because of human nature. We have expectations, even from our dear and near ones. We believe in reciprocity in all our relations and when we don't get it back we are frustrated. Also, we all are under the delusion that we deserve unconditional love. But we ourselves don't practice it. We also need to care, to give, to love selflessly. You give love, you get love. Then, in this case, love is conditional. Probably unconditional love is a myth. 

Let's talk about love and human relations. 

Take for instance any parents' love for their children. For example, my parents' love for me. They have been there for me whenever I needed them, they have supported me through the various stages of my life, they have accepted me for what I am and that I think is unconditional love. Their love was not like a loan which had to be repaid in installments. It was unequivocal without any expectations or conditions from their side. They never asked for anything in return. I am not sure if this kind of unconditional love exists in any other relations. 

I believe there is a 'give and take' equation in every other relation that exists on this earth, be it with your friends, relatives, colleagues or neighbours. As a child when I celebrated birthdays, I expected gifts from my friends and my friends expected 'return' gifts. In school, our class teachers expected excellent academic results from us in return for their hard work, and we, as students expected praise and encouragement from our teachers. As I grew up, I made more friends and when I helped them I was happy but I too expected favours in return and if it wasn't returned I was unhappy. I am sure many of you must have felt it the same way. Our neighbours generously help us when we are in trouble but they too expect us to return the favour. 

Marriage changes many life equations for with it comes new relations and unknown variables. As a wife, I accepted my husband's family, friends and relatives. I didn't marry my husband for his looks or finances or for a secured life thereafter. I married him because he is a good human being. I knew that if he is a good human being then the rest didn't matter. But all said and done, marriage is a relation which involves give and give and give, and even after our death it will be said 'she didn't give enough'...that's when I feel then when you take away 'take' from the equation, you tend to give more and that results in demands and you are taken for granted.

Also, it can be often daunting and taxing on your emotional well being when you have a lot of expectations in your relation. To carry on as a happy or a lovey-dovey couple is not easy. It requires a fair amount of sacrifice, understanding, trust and patience from both the sides. There have been times when we couple have had fought and yelled at each other but then we do try to talk and resolve our issues calmly too. You must have read my last post on 'My Recipe for a Happy Marriage', if you haven't then please do so before proceeding for that will surely help you understand that marriage is an equation that can be solved using the known variables such as love, understanding, kindness and so on, and that there are some unknown variables too over which you have no control but that makes the relation all the more interesting.

I don't say then that I have mastered unconditional love for there have been times when it becomes difficult for me to forgive my husband for his deeds or criticism. However, I have realized that holding onto the grudges for a long time will only harm yourself in the long run and will ruin the relation. Situations may change, circumstances may change, but I will continue to love my husband through thick and thin, without any demands or expectations. Rightly said by Mignon Mclaughlin, "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

The best part of being in love is when you become a mother. Motherhood teaches you many lessons and the best one learnt is unconditional love. It took me so many years to reach this stage of my life that made me realize what unconditional and pure love is. It is then I realized the depth of my own mother's love. It made me realize that behind all her anger or scoldings lied an immense treasure of unconditional love that is beyond any comparison. 

However, I don't deny the fact that unconditional love may exist in other relations too. And if you experience it then you are really lucky for this very life is conditional. If you don't eat, drink or sleep then life too will cease to exist. Hence, do acknowledge the love (conditional or unconditional) that you have received in your life and be grateful for it.

Mary Angelou has rightly said: "First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love."


A few lines from my pondering pen:

Do you think or feel the same as I have penned down here. Do share your views.